Being a teenager isn’t fun, but you can make it easier

I was a teenager once. It seems like a long time ago. My dad was in the Air Force. We moved around a lot. There were times I felt out of place in a new school or church, I always felt out of place in church, who am I kidding?

I would wallow in self-pity about being an outsider and moan and groan because I felt so alone. I can’t go back in time, and I wouldn’t if I could.

Fitting in is overrated, be yourself

What I can do, is advise young people. Don’t worry about fitting in. Trying to fit in led to some mistakes that I made. Mistakes in my thinking and my actions.

I’m fortunate that the mistakes didn’t go far enough to send me to prison or the morgue. Wanting to belong is a powerful influencer. My sophomore year in high school was terrible. After living in Japan for almost four years. My dad got orders to San Antonio Texas.

Talk about a fish out of water, that’s what we were

For some reason, Mom and Dad rented a house in a rural community. It was the typical redneck community. There was a dress code and I had to shave off my mustache.

Most of the teachers were students and graduated from that same high school. Everyone grew up together. My family were outsiders, and the students and teachers never let us forget that.

Students and faculty disliked me and my siblings because we were different. We adopted my sister when we lived in Alaska. She is a full-blooded Eskimo.

My dad had a talk with the principal, explaining about my sister’s three big brothers. That solved the problem

My youngest brother had to fight kids on the bus because of the Racial slurs hurled at her. We all had to deal with constant hatred and suspicion.

My defense mechanism was to try to be invisible, but that didn’t work. I was a benchwarmer on the junior varsity football team. In Texas, a State that worships football.

Nope, still the outsider

You would think that would have been my ticket to acceptance, you would be wrong. I had given up cigarettes that year. I had been smoking since grade school.

I started smoking again. There was a smoking area on campus, but the students had to have parental permission. I wasn’t going to get that.

I hung out with the other stoners

There was a restroom where the smokers without permission hung out. Tobacco wasn’t the only thing that they smoked in that restroom.

I enjoyed weed, and the other stoners accepted me. I didn’t handle things the right way. I have suggestions for anyone who is about to be in a new environment or is in one now.

Be you, don’t downgrade yourself, because it’s not worth it

It’s human to want to fit in, but don’t compromise your morals. Stand tall and be yourself. Being alone isn’t terrible. I have been alone for a good part of my life.

If you have to change positive aspects of your character to fit in, those friends are not worth having. I tried everything in San Antonio.

The Football team and coaches couldn’t stand me

I went to church, but I didn’t fit in. I warmed the bench for the junior varsity football team, and I still didn’t fit in. I started smoking cigarettes and weed.

I fit in, but I started on a road that I was fortunate to get off of years later. None of those kids were worth it. If you don’t fit in, don’t sweat it.

High school doesn’t last forever. Neither will your adult job, and you will move several times in your life. You will find your tribe, don’t sweat it.

Final Thought:

So much unhappiness and misery is caused by the need to fit in. Be yourself. Let your freak flag fly. Your circumstances will change. Don’t lose your self-respect. Don’t compromise your character by trying to fit in with people who aren’t worth your time.

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